Operation: Playboy
by SDproductions
Summary: Forty days. Kibougamine. Eight girls. All or nothing. Hope. Love. One boy's ultimate dream to cultivate a new Ultimate identity...Panties. It was times like these when Hajime contemplated whether he had made the right choice. Then again, he supposed, the more time he wasted thinking such thoughts, the less time he had to chase his future...girlfriends. Pre-despair AU. Hinata x ?
1. The Start Of A New Hope

In which I try - and probably fail miserably - at making a Danganronpa fic.

* * *

_A/N:_

_Of all the things in the world I planned to write, an AU story for Super Danganronpa 2 strangely never presented itself until last week. Funny how it ends up being the next story to add itself to my archive, huh?_

_Yeah…Well, I don't have much else to say, so I'll add the disclaimer._

_Disclaimer:_

_This story is not, and has never been, affiliated with Danganronpa, Spike Chunsoft or the like. The characters throughout the story all belong to Spike Chunsoft; only specially-made OCs for the sake of convenience are owned by the author, a.k.a me. Any and all references to other fanfiction and/or media work by other authors/creators are purely used for entertainment purposes. As such, these do not belong to me, but to their respective owners. I am not, in any way, profiting from writing this story, other than having the sweet satisfaction of writing said story. _

_Also, feel free to review. I need all the help I can get within the DR fandom to write this, because, admittedly, I'm ad-libbing most of this. Cheers._

* * *

Kibougamine Private Academy. Or, as it is better known internationally, Hope's Peak.

This federally-accredited, super-privileged academy gathers students of the highest calibre in all fields, so it can groom them to become paragons in their area of expertise, at almost no momentary cost to the students.

_*toss* Except me. *catch*_

Graduating is said to guarantee a life of success, and, as the numbers show, Hope's Peak has churned out quite an impressive track record of graduates over the years, who all became well-known and respected figures in real life.

_*toss* Too bad I'm not going to be a factor in either of those. *catch*_

You didn't need to apply to the school; they would scout you out if they deemed you worthy enough of an 'Ultimate' title. If you accepted, they would accept you, no questions asked.

_And then…*toss* There were us… *catch*_

Over the years, all sorts of talents came and left the school. There were the normal talents, such as the Ultimate Cook (although he'd correct you by insisting he was a Chef), the Ultimate Photographer, and the Ultimate Mechanic. The number of students in Japan alone that could have been granted these titles were a dime a dozen, so it was a testament to their skill that they managed to surpass those in their field.

Then, there were the more… exotic talents. There was an Ultimate Yakuza, a baby-faced boy who was heir to one of the biggest yakuza (or gangster, if you prefer) syndicates, the Kuzuryuu Clan. Yet another example went to one of the school's few foreign students, the golden-haired princess of a small country in Europe named Novoselic; consequently, she was granted the title of Ultimate Princess.

There was even a boy who had been granted the title of the Ultimate Lucky Student. Said boy had been the, well, lucky winner of the annual Hope's Peak raffle, which selected one student from the masses to join Hope's Peak, no strings attached.

All in all, at this point in time, every student in Hope's Peak, and even some of the teachers who were alumni, had their own distinctive 'Ultimate' talent, in which they took pride in the fact that they owned such an honour.

All of them, that is, except one.

_*toss* *bonk* Ouch._

Enter Hajime Hinata. Sixteen years of age, going on seventeen in under two months, and currently searching for the stress ball he had failed to catch while throwing upwards, and was now somewhere inside the classroom.

Of which he was the only student there, in the evening sun.

He sighed in frustration. "It's gotten so quiet in here…"

Hajime was… unique. He hadn't been selected to attend Hope's Peak, nor was he the winner of the raffle. In fact, he had already spent one year in the campus, and he still had not a title to call his own. He literally had no personified talent to speak of, and yet, here he was, still attending the prestigious academy.

Because he was a **Reserve Course** student.

The Reserve Course, held in the preparatory school subdivision of the academy as opposed to the normal main school, served two purposes. One, it was to allow students from the general masses, those who were incredibly bright and intelligent but had no special skill or talent to speak of, to enrol in Hope's Peak as an 'intern' of sorts. They were allowed to be in direct vicinity of the mainstream Ultimates, to hone their non-existing talents, and perhaps, at the end of their possible maximum of three years, they would actually graduate with a talent of their own. All they needed to do was find their niche, and then they would be able to register themselves as a proper Ultimate, also known as performing an 'Uprise', and continue their education in the main building.

But such an entitlement didn't come cheap, which led to the second purpose. The preparatory school program, retitled the 'Reserve Course' in the few years since its inception, had a fee well above what an average blue-collar worker could earn in a few years. The exorbitance of such an agenda was not without good reason; even with the government-funding Kibougamine was provided, it wasn't nearly enough to cover the various amenities and other facilities that practically fed on money. So the executive board of Hope's Peak decided to implement said reserve course, and charge those who entered an outrageous sum to continue each year, in order to fund the main building itself.

Sure, it was unethical, and practically daylight robbery, but for the twenty or so students that entered each year, paying the iron price had to have been worth the chance for fame and fortune.

The first purpose had been why Hajime was in Kibougamine in the first place. He had always scored the best in his classes, and had topped his level in multiple examinations, growing up in elementary and middle school. But other than being an overachiever, he was completely and utterly…bland. Sure, he had friends, and even dated once or twice, but if one were to inquire about him, the first response would be, 'Meh'. Anything that followed was the same rehashed spiel about how he was generally a nice guy, how he got good grades, and how he had chosen to apply for Kibougamine when they didn't come for him.

Simply put, he was wholly, absolutely, normal. Not exactly the best of credentials for any Ultimate. Not even the Ultimate Normality herself, Nami Hitou, was as normal as him, but he couldn't very well take her hard-earned spot in Hope's Peak, could he? There were only supposed to be one of any Ultimate in the school at any one time, and by the time she graduated, he would probably be graduating too, and not from Kibougamine.

This was where the second purpose came into play; if he wasn't able to establish himself as an 'Ultimate' student in the next two months, he wouldn't be able to keep up with the cost. The small fortune his parents had left him when they died had barely been enough to begin with, and he had to sell his family house and a good number of his possessions to be able to cover the entrance fee. He couldn't possibly afford yet another year.

Groaning internally, Hajime wistfully stared at the empty desks around the classroom. Nary two weeks ago, they were still occupied, with people in the same situation as him: reserve course students, eager to Uprise and join the ranks of the Ultimates. Many had even been his friends and comrades, and it was for this reason he was the only one left in the lonely classroom.

**_"Paging Hajime Hinata, please report to the Headmaster's Office immediately. Thank you."_**

Yet another jab at the fact that he wasn't an Ultimate, was the fact that he still had to be summoned via the intercom system. All Ultimates were all gifted with an e-Handbook, a device that, among other uses, was capable of privately messaging students, sparing the embarrassment that followed when the Headmaster had to publicly call for you.

_At least the only people who'd poke fun at me are home for the holidays, _he thought,_ probably to celebrate their Uprise with their families. Good for them…_

Finding the stress ball at the corner of the room, Hajime squeezed it thrice to relax his already-frazzled nerves. Being sent to the Headmaster was not a rare occasion for him, but he knew that this meeting may very well have been his last. After all, it was the last day of the official school year, and his time as a reserve student was up.

Alas, he decided he was obliged to, anyways. It wasn't like he had anything better to do.

* * *

"Sit, Hinata."

Thanking and taking the ornate chair offered, Hajime glanced at the Headmaster of Hope's Peak, Jin Kirigiri himself, expectantly.

"Hinata, Hinata, Hinata…" he frowned, "Odd. I would have expected you to have been one of the first reserves to have taken the Uprise."

"To be fair, sir, I could've… I just…"

Hajime struggled to find words to explain why he did what he had done. Thankfully, Headmaster Kirigiri held up a hand to silence him, before giving him a warm smile.

"Don't worry. I know what you did. You willingly chose to forfeit your chances, and let the other reserve students have a decent shot at becoming the substitute Ultimates." He picked up an envelope from his desk, and handed it to Hajime. "Your ex-classmates formally requested that I deliver this collection of their letters to you personally."

At this, Hajime felt warmth course through his body. Appreciation was something he had never gotten enough of, and to know that they were thankful for what he had chosen to do made his heart soar.

"I'm still rather in shock, though." Headmaster Kirigiri continued, "We have never had such a good turnover rate for our reserve students. The most we ever had was five in any one year, but for your entire batch of twenty sans you to Uprise all at once…I would personally have given you the title of Ultimate Supporter, or Ultimate Determinator, or even the Ultimate Unlucky Student, had all three not already been granted."

Hajime whimpered. He knew where this line of dialogue was leading, and while he had spent the last few days preparing for it, he was still shaking.

"You're a good student, Hinata. Better than some of my own students in a few aspects. You would definitely made for a fine Ultimate." He got up from his seat, and started to pace around the room. "I have no wish to prevent you from continuing your stay with us, but my hands are tied; the board simply won't allow me to let you continue as a reserve student without the necessary funds."

There it was.

At this, Hajime's shuddering stopped, and his body seemed to visibly deflate.

"…I can't say I didn't expect this," he said quietly, not with anger, but resignation, "I'll begin packing my bags-"

"Which is why I have one final proposition for you."

Immediately, Hajime swivelled his head so fast, an audible 'crick' was heard. "You what?!"

Headmaster Kirigiri was holding yet another envelope was given to him, although, this time, he noted the official crest of Hope's Peak Academy imprinted on it. He was smirking, as if Christmas (a little more than a month down the year) had come early.

"Hope's Peak thrives on cultivating only the best of the best to become true Ultimates." he explained, "Some talents are easy enough to spot; teenage singers and artists are everywhere, as are sportspeople. We need a diverse scope of talents in order to facilitate the many students of this school, but sometimes, we end up missing a few, either because no one could meet the qualifications, or because those who did already had their own Ultimate talent."

He waved the folder, and Hajime noticed the rabbit head, stamped out of silver wax, he supposed, acting as a seal for the documents inside. "So, what if I told you, we could assign you a new Ultimate talent, one that we have yet to assign to anyone else thus far?"

If Hajime had been in the presence of, say, someone other than Jin Kirigiri, he would have no qualms about bursting out into joyous hallelujahs and potentially doing truckloads of incredibly stupid stuff in his state of newly-found euphoria.

Who could blame him, though? He was finally achieving his dream of becoming one of the people he had looked up to since, well, forever. He just wanted to scream and shout at everything in the vicinity, and brag to all of them that he, yes he, Hajime Hinata, was becoming an Ultimate student.

Instead, he steeled himself to stay calm, and replied, stuttering slightly, "I-It would be an h-honour, sir! I'd do it in a heartbeat!"

Had he noticed the evil glint in the Headmaster's eyes, he would have thought better of it, but his mind was too caught up in his own happiness to care.

"Then answer me this," Headmaster Kirigiri pointed at his table, "Take the one with the red frame, and look into it."

Hinata looked into what he thought was a picture of someone the Headmaster held dear, such as the daughter he had spoken about on occasion, and instead found himself looking at, well, himself, through the mirror.

"What do you see?" he heard the Headmmaster ask.

"…What do I see? Well, me." Hajime's voice trailed off, unsure of what he was supposed to be looking for.

"Hinata, would you agree with me if I said you were a good-looking young man?"

To this, Hajime raised an eyebrow. Where was the Headmaster going with this line of questioning? Still, he was obliged to answer, although his pride at attaining his lifelong dream started to leak into his voice.

"I daresay I am…I may not be the most good-looking guy around, but I think I'm at least somewhat adequate." he replied matter-of-factly.

" …Good." The Headmaster walked back to his desk, and placed the envelope in front of him, upon which, he motioned for Hajime to take it.

"Confidence, a rather-handsome face, and a refreshing personality," the Headmaster mused, "All desirable traits, all of which will help you with this talent. I have faith that you'll be able to make full use of them."

While Hajime's astonished smile at the rare compliment said one thing, his mind reeled through the possibilities, as his fingers got to work on breaking the wax seal.

_What kind of talent would necessitate the need for confidence and a handsome face-_

All too late did the pieces fall into place, and immediately, Hajime wished he hadn't tore open the envelope.

"Starting tomorrow, you, Hajime Hinata, will become the **Ultimate Playboy**. Whether or not you keep the title is going to depend on your actions until the new school year begins. Now, let us go through the details of your trial period."

_…_

_…_

_Oh…_

_…Uh oh._

* * *

_Saving Data..._

* * *

_Data Saved._

_November 22nd, 5.45 PM_

_Days to go: 41_

* * *

_Continue playing?_

_[Yes] / [No]_


	2. Help From Unlikely Sources

I tend to characterize Jin Kirigiri as being the ex-SHSL Troll. Make of that what you will.

* * *

_A/N:_

_So people actually like this._

_Phew. Alright, then, I'll try to keep the pace. I might as well warn you, though, between real life and collaborating on Last Chance (SYOC fic, under CrimsonSkyTamer's domain, look for it), you can expect updates to this story to be rather erratic and nonlinear, because I have no clear update schedule…_

_Irregardless, I hope you continue to enjoy Operation: Playboy for all it's worth. Cheers._

* * *

_Continue playing?_

**_[Yes] _**_/ [No]_

_Game Resumed._

* * *

_…Uh oh._

Hajime was pretty sure he caught what the Headmaster said the first time he had said it. Wrapping his mind around it, however, was a whole different situation entirely.

"…The Ultimate Playboy."

"Yes," the Headmaster answered, "That is indeed what I said. Shall I repeat it again?"

"N-No, it's alright, I heard it the first time…"

"Then, as you've already been so kind as to open it," Headmaster Kirigiri crossed his arms, "I assume you have no objections to becoming one?"

Grumbling at his lack of foresight, Hajime inquired, "Is there any other choice I can pick?"

"There is but one alternative… It involves me kicking you out for good-"

"I'll stick to this one!" He interjected near-instantaneously. Wholly outside his comfort zone it may have been, but Hajime wasn't going to let his last chance at being an Ultimate slip away now, was he?

"Good," the Headmaster nodded, "The contents of the envelope should be adequate enough to explain the actions you must take in order to fulfil the requirements needed for becoming the Ultimate Playboy."

He signalled for Hajime to place the contents down onto his desk. "As it is in our mutual interests to see you succeed, I should hope that you do not have any…objections."

Glancing down on the first page, which was filled with mechanized writing, he began to read.

* * *

_Hope's Peak Academy - Talent Application File #11037_

_Ultimate Talent Designate: __**Playboy**_

_Target Requirements:_

_Subject must possess an extraordinary level of confidence, charm, and likability, such that he is able to successfully woo any girls of his choice near-effortlessly._

* * *

"All fairly understandable…But I don't think I have any of those traits yet."

At this, the Headmaster laughed. "If you did, why would you still be here? I would have given you the title and sent you off for the dorms long ago!"

Realizing just exactly how stupid he must have sounded, Hajime coughed awkwardly, and proceeded to scan over the next few paragraphs.

* * *

_Subject Requirements/Suggestions:_

_Subject is at least somewhat handsome - pending personal opinion of Headmaster._

_Subject should probably be at least moderately wealthy - while momentary gifts and offers are not needed for subject to pick up women naturally, they certainly are of assistance._

_Subject should be able-bodied, fit and physically appealing._

_Subject should possess a decent amount of intelligence and respect for others. _

_Subject should rate a 2 or lower on the Kinsey Scale - that is, he should be at least predominantly heterosexual._

_Subject is not overtly sleazy, untrustworthy or lustful - subject is supposed to be a __**Playboy**__, not a __**Sex-Offender**__._

* * *

At this, Hajime paused, backtracked, and dropped his jaw; in shock or disgust, he wasn't sure which, but it was probably a combination of both.

Following his eyes, Headmaster Kirigiri sighed, "Those last two are the reason why the Ultimate Playboy role has fallen out of favour until now. Back then, the last Headmaster thought it best to indiscriminately give out Ultimate titles to those he deemed deserving, regardless of whether or not they were suitable for the role. As a result, I've had to add my own personal notes, and I kept the talent dormant."

"But… you trust me?" Hajime queried.

"I had my daughter, Kyouko, Ultimate Detective-in-training, to monitor you for a while." He picked up a ring file from a box under his desk, before continuing, "Her reports on you were sufficient enough for me to make the decision."

He flipped through it. "A probable IQ of 120, fairly good social skills, a strong sense of determination and selflessness - only weaker than your love of orange juice-"

"Huh?! How did she-" Quickly, Hajime averted his eyes, smiling sheepishly. "Uh, sorry for interrupting… How do you know what she's found out is true?"

"Ah, that matches up with one of your flaws." The Headmaster flipped the ring file shut, smirking, "You're rather cynical and impulsive, and you tend to question everything and everyone. As of her last report, you have supposedly gotten more laidback regarding this, but I suppose old habits die hard."

Storing the file underneath once more, he tented his fingers and stared. His smirk was still present, but it was more stern and cold now. "Before we go on, I will ask you this one more time: are you sure you want to soldier on to become the Ultimate Playboy?"

Hajime frowned. "Why do you ask? And only now, of all times?"

"…Because if you don't back out now, your determination will make you obliged to complete the task that will be set for you should you turn the page, and I do not know from your profile whether or not you will enjoy the task." He flexed his fingers, and stared straight at Hajime, "This is your last chance. Do you want to continue?

He didn't have to think. "Yes. Bring it on."

"So it shall be. Next page it is."

* * *

_To gain this talent:_

_Subject must be able to successfully charm a specific number of ladies as determined by the current Headmaster, and, as proof, present evidence of his conquest. Such evidence is specified to be their undergarments, also known as bloomers, knickers or panties-WHAT._

* * *

Immediately, Jin Kirigiri broke out into a roar of laughter, that he made no attempt to hide whatsoever. To Hajime's credit, he joined in on laughing, whether out of the incredulity of the situation (had anyone even seen the Headmaster laugh so hard?), the sheer ridiculousness of the request, or the realization that he was imminently doomed, he wasn't sure.

He was too busy trying to process the fact that the document had decided it important to give out more examples of what was already worth unmentioning, and would stay unmentioned for as long as he lived; not that he would want to live very long if he had the gall to try.

"Ahaha…By the gods, I haven't laughed like that in quite a while. Forgive me for that," Headmaster Kirigiri wiped a tear from his eye, before addressing Hajime seriously again, "But unfortunately for you, Hinata, there is nothing wrong with what has been written. That, truly, is the metaphorical 'entrance exam' you must undertake in order to earn your talent. Simply put, you must present to me a pair of undergarments from each of your successful exploits, in order to qualify."

"…How many, sir?" Hajime was quivering, not in fear, but because, internally, he was still laughing at the giant mess he had just got himself into.

They say self-depreciation is the sincerest form of humour.

"Hmm…" He pondered, as he brought up a file on his computer, "Let's go with…Eight."

"Eight girls?"

"Yes," the Headmaster typed something, "According to my log, most of the students are spending the winter holidays with their families, and only about… Twenty, of the female students are staying on-campus, along with half that number of males. Eight seems adequate enough. Any questions?"

"Well…What's stopping me from, well, buying eight pairs of panties, and then presenting it to you?"

The words came out of Hajime's mouth before he realized that he could've capitalized on that and made his life much easier.

The Headmaster's eyes widened, as he temporarily froze mid-spacebar. "So **that's **how that lech got the title last time! I shouldn't have trusted him when he brought five pairs in one day, but I thought he got lucky!"

He shook his head, "Never mind. While I do commend your honesty and forethought in bringing it up-"

"As much as I wish I hadn't," Hajime muttered under his breath where it couldn't be heard.

"-unfortunately, that does throw a wrench into our plans."

"…Couldn't you just go easy on me and take my word for it?" Hajime questioned warily.

"No. That would be too easy." He resumed typing, before pausing once again to search his pockets, "Actually, I think I do have a solution. Allow me to see if a certain student is currently on campus…"

He retrieved a small, mechanical-looking device, which, Hajime noted, looked like a more high-tech version of the common ElectroID the students possessed.

_I'll soon have one of those for myself, _he thought happily.

Mashing the keys and screen, the device let out a single 'Beep!', as if to indicate a message had been sent, which was probably the case.

"Luckily, I've figured out a way to patch up that oversight, and make it up to you for laughing earlier." He placed the device back inside his pocket, before resuming, "I'm having a student come along to be your assistant, so you won't be alone in completing your trial. She should be able to give you pointers on how to approach women like her, so consider it a gift of sorts-"

Before he could continue, a shrill '**Beeeeeeep!**' emanated from his pants. Taking out the pseudo-ElectroID, Headmaster Kirigiri answered it, and after a string of, "Yes." , and, "I understand.", he hung up.

"Oh, do excuse me. It seems like the board of governors have caught word of our arrangement, and they want me to meet with them personally." He got up. "I will be back to finalize the briefing with you and her when I'm finished."

Opening the door and leaving his own office, the Headmaster turned right before disappearing from Hajime's line-of-sight. turning back to the papers he held, he went over them once more, still disbelieving a certain… shall we say, requirement.

_How in the world do 'being a playboy' and 'panties' fit into the same equation? Surely there's more to being a womanizer than being a complete and utter pervert?_

His chain of thoughts were broken when he heard a few sharp knocks on the door.

"Headmaster Kirigiri? Did you want to see me?"

Thinking it rude to leave someone hanging, Hajime got up, and walked over to the door, opening it for his 'assistant', as he supposed.

On the other side was a girl who seemed to be around his age. She had red hair in a short, slightly choppy bowl-cut, and olive eyes. She was wearing a school jumper of the same olive colour, over a tie and uniform shirt that looked similar to what Hajime had on right now, and knee-high socks which were a shade darker. An orange strap around her left shoulder led to a rather expensive camera, dangling loosely by her waist, and a light dusting of freckles across her nose rounded off the perplexed expression on her face.

"Headmaster Kirigiri's not currently in. He had to go to a board meeting, but he'll be back." He explained, before motioning for her to come in, "I'd hate to leave you standing outside, though, do you mind coming in?"

"Not at all." she replied, before walking in, and taking the armchair to the side of Hajime's.

As he took his seat once more, she turned to him and asked, "So…Who are you?"

"I'm Hajime Hinata." He hesitated, before adding, "Reserve course student."

"Koizumi. Mahiru Koizumi." She held out a hand, "A pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, Hinata."

He shook it firmly in return. "Likewise. So…You've heard of me?"

"Somewhat." She held up her camera, "As the **Ultimate Photographer**, I was in charge of taking pictures for the new Uprisen students, and they mentioned your name in passing."

Her eyes narrowed slightly, "I've heard you being called a messiah by some of the girls, though…What exactly have you done to deserve such high adoration?"

Hajime's cheeks flooded with red at that statement. He wasn't aware his ex-classmates thought so highly of him that way.

"N-Not much, really…I just, well, let some of them take their chances at the Uprise before me…" His voice trailed off.

"…Hmm." The corners of her lips turned up slightly, "Interesting. I don't know many people who've done the same."

"I don't think anyone's done it before me, actually, Koizumi." Hajime countered.

"Touché. Well said," Mahiru flashed a smile, "I guess you're not as bad as I thought you'd be…"

_Ouch…She managed to compliment __**and**__ insult me in the same sentence…_

"So, if you don't mind, would you explain the situation for me?" She held up her ElectroID, "Headmaster Kirigiri told me he needed me for a job of sorts…"

"Well, I'm going to begin my trial run to become an Ultimate soon, and he said that I could rely on you for help through the period of time."

"I see…May I know what this trial run is about, Hinata?"

He leafed through his papers, before passing them on to her, "Here, Koizumi, you can take a look."

Hajime then planned to elaborate further on how he thought the very process itself of earning the title was, by his account, rather silly, and he was only doing it so that he could remain a student at Hope's Peak Academy.

Before the slap caught him right across the face.

* * *

_Saving Data…_

* * *

_Data Saved._

_November 22nd, 6.00 PM_

_Days to go: 41_

* * *

_Continue playing?_

_[Yes] / __**[No]**_

_Game Paused._


	3. Strange Bedfellows

A friend is oftentimes one who has the same enemies as you. An enemy is oftentimes one who has the…same friends as you? Well…

* * *

_Continue playing?_

**_[Yes] _**_/ [No]_

_Game Resumed._

* * *

Hajime had only been slapped a total of two times up to his current point in life.

The first had been an accident. He was breaking up a fight between one of his friends from the reserve course and a white-haired guy from the main course (the **Ultimate Lucky Student**, he remembered, Koma-something-or-something), and in the process, he had accidentally been backhanded, and sent sprawling to the ground. The two had stopped almost immediately to tend to him, and had actually made up pretty quickly after that.

Hajime even got a small box of chocolates out of it, something of an apology gift, he supposed.

**_SMACK!_**

The second time, on the other hand, involved the redhead in front of him.

"…You pig."

She folded her arms with a derisive sniff. "You men are all the same. Taking advantage of us women just to fulfil your lustful desires…You're despicable."

"…Despicable…Me?"

Slamming his fist down on the desk, Hajime scowled, "Then who are you, to have the right to freely slap anyone?!"

"I don't just slap anyone," she retorted, "Only people who deserve it."

"And just what, exactly, have I done to deserve it?" he countered.

Thrusting the papers back towards Hajime, Mahiru poked him in the chest, "You lie about being a reserve course student to my face, then attempt to use me to further your prowess as a playboy, and THEN have the audacity to say you haven't done anything to deserve it? You really are a-"

She shrieked, as he grabbed her wrist. She had, after all, poked him hard enough to hurt. "I haven't done anything wrong. I wasn't lying about being a reserve course student, and I don't intend to take advantage of you in any way. Now, get off your high horse, and stop accusing me."

"…Unhand me, Hinata." she struggled, but Hajime's grip was surprisingly strong.

"…" He glowered at her, eyes hard and unforgiving.

"…"

He did not release his grip on her wrist, as she leaned in closer to glare harder. They stared into each other's eyes, unblinking, both refusing to back down.

Of course, by this point in time, you would probably have figured out that Murphy's Law applies to nearly every situation possibly imaginable, and that their stare-off would only result in ruin for both of them.

"*bang* I'm back-"

Such was the case when Headmaster Kirigiri returned, and the loud sound caused by the door opening sent both students instinctively lurching forward.

And thus, both Mahiru Koizumi and Hajime Hinata shared their first kiss - with each other.

Fate was a cruel mistress sometimes.

A long moment between the two passed, as the Headmaster walked back to his desk, and sat down comfortably. A longer moment passed, before he leaned forward, resting his chin on his bridged hands, and smirked.

"You know, Hinata, the amount of time you spend kissing Miss Koizumi has no effect on your success rate." He raised an eyebrow, before continuing, "Unless, of course, you somehow believe it will enable you easier access to her undergarments."

Immediately, they both pulled away, before Hajime ducked the punch sent his way and parried the next punch that followed.

"You bastard!" Mahiru spat out, as she swung around with a roundhouse kick - not so much a professional or even well-executed attack, but it did catch Hajime in the stomach, so it mattered, "How dare you!"

"Hngh!" Pushing her foot away, Hajime steadied himself. "Koizumi, please! It was an accident, we don't have to resort to this!"

"An accident?!" she tried to backhand him, as he guarded against the strike and attempted to strike back, "Y-"

"That's enough, you two! Madarai!"

Out of nowhere (although it was actually from the ceiling crawlspace, but nowhere sounded much cooler), a long-haired figure dropped down, right between them. With his right hand, he caught Hajime's fist, and with his left leg, he blocked Mahiru's next kick.

His snakelike eyes surveyed the two, who flinched as his long tongue showed itself as he spoke, "You called, Headmassssssster?"

"Listen, Hinata, Koizumi. I will NOT tolerate fighting between my students," said Headmaster growled, "So, unless the two of you want to be thrown out of this school, sit down, and cease your petty squabble at once!"

Grudgingly, both students did just that, as Isshiki Madarai, the **Ultimate Bodyguard**, took his place by Headmaster Kirigiri's side.

"Look, Koizumi, you are here not to harm, but to help Hinata." He gestured to said boy, "He is on an internship to integrate himself into the main course, as the Ultimate Playboy-"

"Which is why I don't intend on helping him!" With an accusatory finger, Mahiru pointed at Hajime. "You can't possibly think that I would willingly help him become a lecherous pervert, just so he can lust after all of us!"

"I'm not trying to!" Hajime held his hands up in defence, "Surely there's more to being a playboy than that?"

"Then explain this!" She picked up the sheaf of paper that had made its way back to Hajime's lap, and read out the success conditions.

Hajime cleared his throat awkwardly. "Look, I understand it may seem a little depraved, but I think that's just how it is. I don't support the notion, but if it's necessary for me to gain my ultimate talent, I'm not above doing it. Besides, you must have been called here for some other reason…right?"

"Correct. To circumvent around this, I've discussed with the board of governors, and we've agreed that the act of presenting the panties itself is rather…extreme. Thus, only photo evidence surrounding the act of your target giving you her panties is needed, which is where you," the Headmaster gestured to Mahiru, "And your camera, come in. Oh, and, Koizumi? Helping him is not a request you can turn down; it's an order."

"But Headmaster Kirigiri!" she was vehemently against it, and justifiably so, "I can't stand for this! Isn't there anyone else you could have chosen-"

"You are skating on thin ice, Koizumi." he intoned dangerously, "Need I remind you about how I'm the Headmaster, and you two are my students? I could have Madarai here just as easily retrieve your entire combined portfolio, and make it, along with you…disappear."

Mahiru seemed like she was about to rebut again, but a pointed look from the bodyguard that seemed to say he was dead serious made her pause, before resignedly slumping her shoulders, and sitting back down. "I have no objections."

"Me neither." Hajime sighed.

To this, the Headmaster reclined in his seat, smirking, "Then it is done. Hinata, you will return with photo evidence of your successful conquests, upon which I'll officially induct you as the **Ultimate Playboy**, or you'll be forced to leave the school. Koizumi, you are to act as his assistant in all matters, and help him take the photos as necessary, or you two risk expulsion. You have…"

Flipping through a calendar, he did some quick calculations, "Just over forty days."

_That's a girl every five days…_Hajime thought.

"Since I'm feeling lenient, I'll help you on your way." Headmaster Kirigiri typed something into his computer, "I will be giving you information on the eight girls I have assigned to you. They are all still on Hope's Peak main campus, and should remain there throughout the holidays."

Had Hajime glanced to the side, he would have seen Mahiru ponder those words. She knew half of the girls who were staying behind personally, and hoped none of them would have to become his…ugh, victims.

"I'll be releasing each file to you by Private Messaging at the end of every one of your successful encounters, so that you need only focus on one girl at each time. The first file will be given to you tomorrow morning. Got that?"

Seeing the nods from both students, he nodded back, "Now, unless either of the two of you have any further objections, I suggest you be on your way. Unless you want to risk immediate-"

"It's alright, I'll be leaving!" Both students said immediately, before turning on each other.

"Stop copying me!" Mahiru complained.

"I'm not trying to!" Hajime rebutted.

"You are!"

"I'm not!"

Headmaster Kirigiri inclined his head slightly. "Thank you, students."

At once, both turned to bow to him. "Thank you, Headmaster!"

And then they were at each other's metaphorical throats, again.

"I said, stop copying me! What part of that three-word sentence do you not understand?!"

"The part where I'm still insisting that I'm not trying to freaking copy you!"

The squabbling continued even as Isshiki calmly walked up to them, hoisted them up, and pushed them both out of the office, closing the door behind them.

A few seconds passed, before the two left inside the office-

"Kukukukukuku!" "Ahahahahahahahaha!"

-burst out into spontaneous laughter.

Recomposing himself, Isshiki bowed to the Headmaster. "Very convincing performance, sssssssssir. I was almosssssst fooled into thinking you'd even entertain the thought of expelling sssssssstudents…I would have thought you to have gone harder on them, though."

"I'm mean, but not unnecessarily cruel, Madarai." he replied with a dismissive wave, "Our school does not remove any potential talents without serious reason, and this is hardly serious, wouldn't you agree?"

Lounging back onto his chair, the Headmaster put his feet up on the table and leaned back with a contented sigh, "Besides, if I wanted to be cruel, I'd have them handcuffed and thrown away the key."

"Sssssstill, why the Koizumi girl?" Isshiki shot a look at the door, "I don't question your motive, but isssssss it not rather sssssself-destructive to assssssign her to him?"

"All in good time, Madarai." He flashed an okay sign, "All in good time."

* * *

The canteen, usually bustling with activity from the many students of Hope's Peak, was rather quiet that day, owing to the fact that most of the students had already returned home for the holidays. The only sounds came from the kitchen, where a boy in a chef's outfit was busy putting the final touches on his masterpiece; otherwise, it was tranquil and silent.

Not for long.

"And I'm telling you, I don't want to help you!"

"Do you think I want your help?!"

Ears pricking up at the sound, Teruteru Hanamura ducked his head out of the kitchen. The **Ultimate Cook **('the Ultimate Chef, excuse me!' he would say) recognized one of his fantasies- er, classmates, the photographer, Mahiru.

_Abrasive, loud, and nowhere near Mikan's or Akane's standard in bust size or figure, but her tsundere personality and freckles makes her a great catch!_

As he thought this, he heard her voice ring out again. "You're the freaking messiah here! Just do whatever it is you normally do!"

_Dear me, what could have possibly put such a scowl on her pretty face?_

Turning to the person she was talking to, Teruteru realized it was a newcomer, or at least a student he had never tried to pursue before. Short brown hair, green eyes, buttoned-up white shirt, tie and blue jeans…Hm. He had to admit, this guy was pretty cute in his own way.

_Wonder if he tops_, he thought again, as he watched him snap back, "How is putting myself ahead of others going to win me any points with girls?!"

"Maybe I should just find out what's going on," he said aloud to himself, as he straightened his hat, and combed his pompadour with the comb he always kept in his pocket, before taking the freshly-prepared cake out along with him.

"Hullo, Mahiru!" he greeted, as he set the cake down.

"Oh, hello- oh, god, of all the people-" she huffed, before kicking the new guy in the left shin and storming away.

Hopping on his right foot, the newcomer turned to Teruteru, "Is she always like this?"

"Better; I've never seen her this angry before!" he responded enthusiastically, "Oh, pardon me, I am Teruteru Hanamura. Based off my clothes, you can probably guess what I do."

"The Ultimate Cook, isn't that right? I remember hearing a few rumours about you…Uh, Hinata. Hajime Hinata." he held out a hand which the chef shook firmly in return, "No actual Ultimate talent as-of-yet."

"Ah, you must be the one the other reserve students were talking about, that Hajime Hinata!" Nodding earnestly, he smiled, "Thank you very much for getting so many beautiful girls into our level! I mean, not that our level doesn't have beautiful girls already, but variety is the spice of life, no?

"Uh…"

Hajime really wasn't sure how to respond, but was saved from doing so as the boy began to cut the cake into slices.

"Here, Hajime, have some! You can't say you've been to Kibougamine without trying some of my famous cooking!" Teruteru offered up one, which Hajime gratefully accepted.

"Thank you, Hanamura." Taking a bite, his eyes lit up. "Hey, this tastes really good!"

"Well, of course it tastes good! I am the Ultimate Coo- er, Chef, after all! It wouldn't do me any favours not to live up to my title, now would it?" he bragged in return.

Taking another spoonful, Hajime relaxed. Teruteru seemed to have a calming effect about him, something Hajime could appreciate. He was starting to like the guy already-

"So, what's going between you and Koizumi, huh? She seemed pretty mad. And for that matter, what brings you here to main campus?"

-even if he dreaded answering his next question.

Putting down the spoon, Hajime explained, "She was supposed to be helping me. I'm taking up an internship to gain an Ultimate talent over the holidays, and she was supposed to be my assistant on the matter, but we're obviously not agreeing on it, so here I am."

"I see…" the Cook scratched his chin, "If you don't mind me asking, what didn't you agree on?"

"She has to help me take pictures of girls giving me their panties as part of my requirements to become the Ultimate Playboy-"

"Do my ears deceive me?" Teruteru, suddenly very much interested, inquired, "Panties? I mean, pictures? I mean, you're going to become the Ultimate Playboy?"

"Um, kinda, I guess?"

Hajime watched as a small trickle of pink made its way from his nose down to his mouth.

"Then I don't suppose maybe you'd like some…tips?"

Yep, there was pink blood coming out of his nose all right. He was having a nosebleed.

"Uh, it's okay, you don't have to-"

"But I insist!"

Latching on to Hajime's arm, Teruteru tried to drag him away, "You must come with me to my room! I have a lot of highly-informational magazines I can share with you-"

"That's enough!"

Pausing to look up at the new voice, Hajime only managed to catch a glimpse of a long shaft of metal, before it shot past him, and knocked Teruteru to the ground.

"Gaaaaaarrrrgh! Wha' is da big idea, eh?!" he yelled as he picked up his chef's hat from the floor.

"The next arrow I notch will be sharp. You have been warned. Now, off with you, Hanamura."

"Okay, 'kay, fine, Imma goin'!" With that, Teruteru scurried back towards the kitchen from whence he came.

Blinking at the surprised turn of events, Hajime finally directed his attention to the supposed newcomer, who, he noted, still had a blunt-tipped arrow notched onto her bow, though it was lying slack in front of her instead of being aimed at him, which was definitely a plus.

Long, raven hair framed an angular face, with bangs falling on either side of her piercing blue eyes, which were currently studying himself as he was studying her. She was wearing the official Hope's Peak uniform: a button-down shirt over a tartan skirt, and kneesocks over running shoes. The bow and arrow she held looked fairly expensive, but then again, what in Kibougamine wasn't?

"My sincerest apologies. You shouldn't have to suffer Teruteru's perverseness on your first time meeting him, but I guess you can't do anything about it, becoming the Ultimate Playboy and all," she loosened her grip and held out her dominant left hand, "A pleasure to finally meet you at last, Hajime Hinata."

Strange; he hadn't ever met this girl before, that he was sure of. Maybe she had heard the same rumours about him as well?

Regardless, he took her hand and shook it. "I see my reputation - or lack of it - precedes me. Nice to meet you as well. And I didn't think Teruteru was that bad; besides the…well, he's actually a decent guy."

"He's decent to you because you're a guy," she scoffed, "Hanamura has the unfortunate tendency to lower his standards around us girls."

He shrugged. He'd probably have to talk to him on that later if he ever re-encountered Teruteru. "Fair enough. May I know your name, since you already appear to have mine?"

"Satou. Sachiko Satou. **Ultimate Archer**, but I'm guessing you figured that out already." She turned around and motioned for him. "Now, Hajime, I would ask that you follow me, as it is in your best interests to do so."

Maybe it was due to the authoritative tone that she held, or the fact that Hajime had no wish for a sizable bump on his head courtesy of her arrows, that willed his legs forward to tail her, leaving the slice of cake he had only taken a spoonful of to the mercy of the canteen cleaners.

"Oh, hot damn! Free cake!"

Or in this case, to the whims of a certain gymnast.

* * *

"You still haven't told me where we're going."

"I hardly have to. You should have noticed by now that we're in the dorms."

"Not exactly the response I needed…"

Hajime's voice trailed off as he increased his pace to keep up with Sachiko's strides as she walked down the plush, carpeted hallways of the dorm, which, in all honesty, looked more like a luxury hotel. On the walls, many exquisite paintings and other works of art were hung out on display, and in small alcoves, figurines, marble busts and other carving resided.

"Hold on, gotta tie my shoelaces."

As she leaned down to do so, all the whilst remaining upright, Hajime took the chance to examine one of the aforementioned carvings that was featured in a small alcove. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but the placard next to it was inscribed, '**Funyarinpa**, crafted by Chouji Kokubunji, SHSL Sculptor'.

"Are the works in the dorms all student-made products?" he asked.

"I think so, yes. Some of them were left behind by alumni who've graduated, but we circulate them every half a year or so," she responded, before straightening up and continuing to walk, "I'm done, let us go."

"You're still not telling me where we're going-"

Anything else he could have said was halted when Sachiko halted outside a door, and rapped her knuckles on it.

A moment passed before the door opened to reveal an all-too-familiar face.

"Sachi!"

Mahiru embraced the girl, before holding her shoulders and speaking, "Thank goodness you've come back from the competition! I desperately need your help with someone…"

Having glanced behind her friend and coming face-to-face again with the 'someone', she immediately recoiled, screeching. "You!"

Quickly holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender (although it was more for self-defence than anything, really), Hajime was ready to plea for his innocence to Mahiru (again), when Sachiko smacked her in the back of the head.

"Ouch, Sachi, what the hell?!"

"Oh, sorry." Sachiko proceeded to snark, "I wanted to emphasize how much of a dummy you were being, and it got out of hand."

Pausing for while to let the point sink in, she continued, "Now listen here, Mahiru, I don't know why you're so harsh on Hajime, but whatever the cause, drop it. Now."

"B-But-"

"If it's about how you think he's a disgusting lech because of his title, think again!" she gestured to Hajime behind her, "I did the bend-and-snap in front of him, and he didn't even try to look up my skirt! And I've actually seen him converse; he may be becoming the Ultimate Playboy, but he's nowhere even close to Hanamura's level! You've really exaggerated him to be a douchebag, haven't you?!"

Mahiru recoiled slightly, a mixture of fear and annoyance present on her face. "I…I-I…"

Throughout this lecture, he watched in silence, equal parts surprised, shocked, and thankful, with a little bit of awe thrown in for good measure. He'd been tested on what basically amounted to a dance move, and had succeeded in a way that even Mahiru couldn't argue against?

What in the world did he miss?

_Wait, that sounded wrong._

"…Fine." Mahiru pointed a finger at Hajime, "But he still kissed me, and I can't forgive him for that!"

To that, Sachiko grabbed hold of her head, and placed her own lips on the Photographer's.

"There," she pulled away, "You've been kissed by a girl as well. Now stop with the tirade."

A moment of silence passed, before Mahiru groaned loudly, muttering under her breath about how 'that wasn't fair', and went back into her room, slamming the door behind her.

Hajime, who had immediately averted his eyes once he saw them kiss, felt a hand tap his shoulder. Turning back, he was greeted with a smile.

"Congratulations. You've just proved my point by looking away." Sachiko addressed him confidently, "I think I can afford to place some of my trust in you."

Scratching the back of his head, Hajime asked, "Why…did you do that? Mahi- I mean, Koizumi, seems like someone you don't want to anger."

"Chill. I've been good friends with Mahiru since childhood, and after we entered Hope's Peak together," she elaborated, "I do things like this all the time to knock some sense into her; a practical demonstration always did things better than any words could. Besides, her feminism doesn't exactly come from nowhere, you know?"

Putting two and two together took some time, but Hajime realized what she tried to imply when he was still unable to get the kisses (both his and Sachiko's, inflicted on Koizumi) out of his head, and Mahiru's less-than-agitated reaction.

"She's a lesbian." He found himself quietly wording out.

"Bingo. So I'd watch myself around her if I were you." Sachiko concluded, "She already doesn't like most men in general, but everything she's told me you've done today probably made her opinion of you drop to an all-time low. And your charm won't work on her, because she can't possibly get attracted to you."

_So that's why Headmaster Kirigiri wanted her to be my assistant…She's immune._

"Then, is there any way I can get on her good side again?" he asked in return, "I need all the help I can get, and I don't think I can always look for you, can I?

"…Hm," she scrutinized Hajime with a look of mild surprise, "You know, most people wouldn't easily forgive her like you do. Neither would most people accept her sexuality just like that..."

"I wouldn't say I'm most people," he countered, "I don't like to judge people based on just one aspect of their personality."

"I can tell. I think I might just like you, Hajime Hinata," she smirked, "Not enough to help you along, because I'm selfish like that, but enough to consider you a friend. For that, a tip."

Leaning in, Sachiko whispered conspiratorially, "Flattery will get you anywhere," before clapping him in the back, and walking away with a wave.

Hajime took a moment to ponder her words. _Flattery… Well, there's no point in trying now, I guess._

_Now, where's my room…?_

As it turned out, his room was, quite literally, next door down the dorm hallway. He supposed it had been deliberately placed there for convenience's sake, so that was one thing he could thank the good Headmaster for.

Seeing his bags all tucked away into a corner, which he guessed had been brought here straight from his room in the preparatory school dorms, Hajime set to unpacking.

* * *

It was late at night, but Hajime was still conscious.

Lying on the satin sheets of his new bed, in a pair of his old, faded pyjamas, Hajime tried to wrap his mind around the multitude of events that had occurred throughout the day.

Eight hours ago, he was on the way to getting kicked out of Kibougamine. Now, he was still on the way out, but he had managed to grant himself more time, and an even chance at achieving the same thing that had kept him awake all those sleepless nights this past year.

How ironic that it was still keeping him awake at a time like this.

Being a Playboy…Charming girls for their underwear…Hajime wasn't really sure about his chances, considering all that had occurred today.

Well, at least two people already believed in him, right? Maybe three, or even four?

_Still, this is it, I guess,_ he thought, _either I Uprise, or I fall by the wayside. I need to prove my worth once and for all…Tomorrow…_

His mind wandered off as his eyes closed.

Even as the message from Headmaster Kirigiri came bearing the information of Hajime's first chosen conquest, he had already gone to sleep, with dreams of a better future.

* * *

_Saving Data…_

* * *

_Data Saved._

_November 23rd, 0.00 AM_

_Days to go: 40_

* * *

_Continue playing?_

_[Yes] / __**[No]**_

_Game Paused._

* * *

_Trivia_

_Sachiko Satou: For those of you who remember, yes, this is the same Satou featured in Case 2. In regards to her fate this time around, well…I can't say for sure yet. But rest assured, she's playing a semi-important role in this story as well, as shown._

_Also, while Satou needs no explanation, Sachiko means 'child of bliss', while also simultaneously containing the kana for 'Chiko', or 'arrow/pledge'. Yes, I'm good at name puns too; what else is new?_

_Meanwhile, Chouji Kokubunji will have absolutely no impact on the plot whatsoever, and his name is merely a play on 'choukoku-ka', or 'sculptor'. I'm bored and wanted a reference, deal with it._

* * *

_A/N:_

_A/Ns can and will appear either at the top or the bottom from now on. Also, longest chapter yet, phew._

_So that's a wrap for the three-parter prologue chapters. My sincerest apologies if you felt the portrayal of canonical characters like Teruteru or canonical-but-personality-adapted characters like Headmaster Kirigiri to be OOC, but I reserve the right to take creative liberties. Just because. XD_

_Also, this took longer to write because Chinese New Year. Sorry about that. Actually, not sorry, duty to family comes first. Will endeavour to get the next update out a.s.a.p._

_Starting with the next one, we'll actually begin Hajime's trial phase and-_

**_IT'S ME!_**

_Woahwoahwoah, where the hell did you-?!_

**_Ibuki's gonna get her time in the spotlight! Woohoo!_**

_No, Ibuki! Bad Ibuki! You're not supposed to appear until next chapter!_

**_Ibuki will pop in whenever she pleases, and you can't stop Ibuki!_**

_…*sigh* Just, well, look forward to next chapter then. Because it looks like our resident Musician's ready to rock._

_Oh, and to everyone who's reviewed, favourited or followed thus far, you guys rock as well. Thanks for the support, and I'll see to it I'll actually end this story, come hell or high water. May the ultimate luck be with us all._

**_Ibuki Mioda, on the scene, next chapter! Ciao!_**


End file.
